less than...

... a month to go. In 29 days we board a plane to return to Auckland. This is the moment that we've been waiting for (and wondering if it was going to come) for two years. The reality of the situation is finally starting to settle on us and it has led to a variety of feelings. Excitement, relief, sadness, joy, anxiety, and many other emotions have formed the flood that is a part of our daily countdown.

As I contemplate the work ahead I become more and more painfully aware of how completely inept I am. Who am I to go and share the good news of Christ? Who am I to go and lead the work of planting a church? Who am I to shepherd God's people? Who am I to go and seek the peace of the city? The answer to all these questions is that I am nothing. I am not qualified for these tasks. I am not holy. I am not good. I am not loving. I am not faithful. But God is.

As we go to the place where we believe God is calling us our only source of confidence is in the fact that we truly believe he has called us. If it weren't for this all we would have is despair and knowledge of certain failure. We go not because we think we're special, we're not. We have confidence to go because we serve a God who is pleased to use weak, broken, incompetent, and floundering people like us to expand his kingdom.

We also go because our lives are not our own. I never wanted to plant or pastor a church. I never wanted to move overseas and I definitely never wanted to raise financial support to do all these things. Honestly, I never even wanted to be a Christian. And yet God has called us. He has rescued us from the shipwrecked lives that we create on our own. He has purchased us out of slavery to our sin and spiritual death. He has won us over with is persistent, unfailing, and overwhelming love. In light of all he is and all he has done and continues to do how could we say no to anything he asks? When we are in our right minds we love him and trust him, and so we follow his call knowing that he goes with us and before us. We are secure in him no matter what happens.

"For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us." - 2 Corinthians 4:5-7