the verdict is in

After several months of wondering if there was going to be a future for us in New Zealand we finally have a definite direction to move towards. On Saturday we were officially offered a call to come back to Auckland. I had submitted a proposal to the Northern Presbytery (a presbytery is the local governing body in the denomination we're working with) that laid out my thoughts on what a new church in central Auckland would look like. The presbytery accepted my proposal and invited us to come back and try to make it happen.

This decision is encouraging and exciting. However, there are still a lot of daunting realities to face before we end up back here. The most terrifying thing about all this for me is thought of being a pastor. I have long wrestled with God over this issue. In fact, when I started seminary I went into it praying that God would NOT make me be a pastor. I don't think this is a feeling that's going to go away overnight but I find comfort in the fact that throughout the history of the Church there have been many folks who felt inadequate to do the task God was calling them to and he used them anyway. Many have told me that a sense of inadequacy and unworthiness is in many ways a prerequisite for the role. I'm not exactly sure how encouraging this is but an old guy named Paul once taught that God's strength is best seen when he works through our weakness. In my case he has a lot of opportunity to show how strong he is.

Of course the good news in all of this is that I won't need to change my blog title any time soon