less than...

... a month to go. In 29 days we board a plane to return to Auckland. This is the moment that we've been waiting for (and wondering if it was going to come) for two years. The reality of the situation is finally starting to settle on us and it has led to a variety of feelings. Excitement, relief, sadness, joy, anxiety, and many other emotions have formed the flood that is a part of our daily countdown.

As I contemplate the work ahead I become more and more painfully aware of how completely inept I am. Who am I to go and share the good news of Christ? Who am I to go and lead the work of planting a church? Who am I to shepherd God's people? Who am I to go and seek the peace of the city? The answer to all these questions is that I am nothing. I am not qualified for these tasks. I am not holy. I am not good. I am not loving. I am not faithful. But God is.

As we go to the place where we believe God is calling us our only source of confidence is in the fact that we truly believe he has called us. If it weren't for this all we would have is despair and knowledge of certain failure. We go not because we think we're special, we're not. We have confidence to go because we serve a God who is pleased to use weak, broken, incompetent, and floundering people like us to expand his kingdom.

We also go because our lives are not our own. I never wanted to plant or pastor a church. I never wanted to move overseas and I definitely never wanted to raise financial support to do all these things. Honestly, I never even wanted to be a Christian. And yet God has called us. He has rescued us from the shipwrecked lives that we create on our own. He has purchased us out of slavery to our sin and spiritual death. He has won us over with is persistent, unfailing, and overwhelming love. In light of all he is and all he has done and continues to do how could we say no to anything he asks? When we are in our right minds we love him and trust him, and so we follow his call knowing that he goes with us and before us. We are secure in him no matter what happens.

"For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us." - 2 Corinthians 4:5-7

week 4

Okay, so these are going up a day late but yesterday was Christmas so cut me some slack. Also, I forgot to bring my camera to Kalamazoo so I don't have any pictures of Sophia with my side of the family but a cousin will be sending me some soon.  Enjoy.

eagerer anticipation

As much as I'm looking forward to the upcoming season of Lost I'm much more excited about the new Wolverine movie. I've been an X-Men fan since I was 12 or 13 and like every rational and intelligent X-Men fan, Wolverine is my favorite character. The comic book movies have been a bit hit or miss in the last several years (okay, a little more than "a bit") so it's my hope that they don't screw this one up.  Please let it be more Iron Man or Dark Knight and not another embarrassment like The Punisher or Daredevil.  Please Marvel, can you do that?

X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE HD

week 3

eager anticipation

Watching this preview makes my blood tingle. We will be in the States long enough to catch the Season 5 premiere. I only hope that they are caught up with Lost in New Zealand so we can keep watching. When we were there before they were behind by about a season. Lost is the simply the best thing on television!!!

week 2

constantly returning to the basics

I'll admit it.  I'm a Tim Keller groupie.  If you're not familiar with Keller you should aquaint yourself with his works.  In an earlier post I summarized him as wise, winsome, and witty; but when it comes to clear teaching and effective delivery of timeless truths, in my humble opinion he's currently without peer.   

February saw the release of The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism which is now a New York Times Bestseller.  His newest book, The Prodigal God: Recovering the Heart of the Christian Faith is probably on its way to joining Reason for God on the bestsellers list.  

Keller has described these two books in the following way: Reason for God is his presentation of the gospel for skeptics while The Prodigal God is his presentation of the gospel for religious people (i.e. self-proclaimed Christians).  I had intended to write a post on Reason for God and never got around to it so I offer this one on Prodigal God instead. 

Basically, The Prodigal God is simply Keller's detailed exposition and application of what is commonly known as the Parable of the Prodigal Son.  Keller quickly shows that this parable is misnamed because it is not merely about a foolish younger brother who is lost because of his immoral ways.  It is that, but is also about a self-righteous older brother who is lost because of his moral ways.  However, more than either of these the main character in this story is the father who loves his children with reckless abandon and seeks the reconciliation, restoration, and redemption of each of his lost sons.  The father obviously represents God who is the true prodigal of the story. 

Buy the book.  Read it and reread it.  It's Christianity 101, but it's an invaluable journey back to the basics of the gospel.  If you are a Christian it's worth it to be reminded once again of the sheer, unthinkable - yet true, grace and love of our God.  If you're not a Christian, this book is worth reading to make sure you understand what Christianity is truly about.  It's not a list of rules, do's and don'ts.  Primarily it's about amazing, unmerited, all-encompassing, life-transforming love.  

Here are a few tidbits from the book.  Enjoy.

The targets of this story are not "wayward sinners" but religious people who do everything the Bible requires.  Jesus is pleading not so much with immoral outsiders as with moral insiders.  He wants to show them their blindness, narrowness, and self-righteousness, and how these things are destroying both their own souls and the lives of the people around them. 

Jesus's purpose is not to warm our hearts but to shatter our categories.

Jesus does not divide the world into the moral "good guys" and the immoral "bad guys."  He shows us that everyone is dedicated to a project of self-salvation, to using God and others in order to get power and control for themselves.  We are just going about it in different ways. 

The gospel of Jesus is not religion or irreligion, morality or immorality, moralism or relativism, conservatism or liberalism.  Nor is it something halfway along the spectrum between two poles - it is something else altogether.

Properly understood, Christianity is by no means the opiate of the people.  It's more like the smelling salts. 

If the preaching of our ministers and the practice of our parishioners do not have the same effect on people that Jesus had, then we must not be declaring the same message Jesus did.

week 1

It seems impossible that it has already been a week since Sophia was born, and yet it has been. The last 7 days have been a bit of a blur filled with moments that we will remember for the rest of our lives. Besides being a huge blessing to Brooke and I Sophia has made my blog a much more popular place to visit on the web than it was a week ago. Many of you are dying to see some new pictures so I've added some. However, just so you know, I'm probably not going to be putting them up all the time. I think one thing I want to do is put up at least one picture of her every Thursday for the next 51 weeks. I think it will be cool to track her growth visually and to be able to go back and show her some day how much and how quickly she grew. Other than this my guess is that what you will find here will be my usually types of blog posts (which means posts on topics as random as my thoughts). Once we get back to Auckland (in 56 days!!!) Brooke will likely start updating her blog again and you might be able to find pictures of Sophia there on a more regular basis.

With all of that said, here are a few of my observations and epiphanies from the first week of experienced fatherhood. I say "experienced" because I have technically been a father for 9 months. Sophia has been an individual person since the time she was conceived, we've simply had the privilege of getting to know her the last few days. Anyway, here are my thoughts, some of which are painfully obvious, but whatever:
- Parenting a newborn is non-stop, hard work (duh); but I think I like waking up in the middle of the night to take care of her when she's crying better than I'm going like sitting up late wondering where she is and how she's doing.

- In general I wrestle against cynicism. For the last 7 days though whenever I look into my daughter's eyes I have realized that I have absolutely no cynicism about her. I know she is a sinner like every other human, and though she is a child of the promise she will struggle with her own brokeness and depravity. Yet, when I see her I only have joy and hope for her. The cynical beast that assails my heart in so many other areas has not been able to touch my view of my daughter.

- Watching my wife go through the process of labor and delivery, and watching her nurse and care for our child has caused my love for her to surge to deeper levels. I loved and respected her before. I'm awestruck by her now. She is amazing.

- I didn't anticipate the wave of protectiveness that has come over me. I have had a couple of moments where I have known without a doubt that I would give up my life for Sophia. Moments where I knew if someone tried to hurt her I would simply destroy them. Love truly is stronger than death. While I obviously think there is something good about this protectiveness there also is the danger of being overprotective. In my years of working with youth I have seen many parents who have turned their children into idols and ultimately end up "protecting" them from fellowship with the Father. I owe God my love and allegiance before all things. Indeed, I will serve, love, and protect Sophia properly only if these things flow out of my love for God. She comes before me, but he comes before everything.

- Following from the last observation, I must always remember that Sophia is the Lord's before she is ours. His plan for her is better than anything I can imagine or dare to dream. When she is older I must be vigilant not to shelter her from things he may bring into her life to mature her and deepen her character. I must learn to trust him more and be at peace with what he chooses to do in and through her.

- Being a father has opened my eyes in a new way to the love and care of my Father in heaven. Just as our work of taking care of Sophia is non-stop, so is his care and provision for us. Just as we find ourselves thinking constantly about what needs to be done next to ensure that she has what she needs, so too God is constantly working in advance for our good. While we lose some sleep being parents, he never slumbers or sleeps and is constantly watching over us. Amazing.

comin' home