one month ago

We have been back in the U.S. for one month today. The last thirty days have brought up many thoughts, emotions and struggles. It has been good to reconnect with old friends but we have missed our new friends in New Zealand. There has been comfort in in being back in a familiar city but discomfort due to the fact that I miss Auckland. I have been able to rest after a tiring three months but I have also wrestled with a sense of purposelessness as we have been trying to figure out what’s next. These are just a few of the inner tensions that have been taking place in the last month.

Finding a mission agency to work with as we seek to return to Auckland has been more difficult than we anticipated. This has forced me to wrestle head on with my relentless impatience as well as my general disdain for organizational bureaucracy. Brooke and I have toyed with the idea of applying for non-profit status and starting our own mission agency in an attempt to cut through all the red tape. Of course that sounds as appealing as having shards of glass rubbed in my eyes.

So yeah this month has been an interesting one filled with happiness and sadness, rest and stress, encouragement alongside of discouragement and a lot of questions without immediate answers. The result of all this is that our jokes about living as nomads aren’t nearly as funny as they used to be.

At the risk of sounding cliché I must confess though that God has been good in the midst of all this. He has provided us a place to live with an amazing family that is generous, understanding, and a model of hospitality. He has also connected us with a great pastor who is working very hard to help us get back to New Zealand. He has also gifted us with many wonderful friends who love us and are willing to walk alongside us as we try to figure life out. With all those things what do I really have to complain about?

It comes down to living out what I say I believe. I believe that there is an all-powerful God who is in control of all things and who is personally and intimately involved in our lives. I believe that this God loves us, has rescued us from ourselves, and has called us to serve him. If he wants us to serve him in New Zealand then we will make it back there. If he doesn’t, we won’t. It may sound naïve or simplistic but this is the only thing that gives me hope as we enter into our second month of existence in limbo.